Whys and wherefores...

I decided to start this weight loss blog. I know...it probably sounds crazy that I want to document it or have it up for all and sundry to see but thats just it. I feel like there'd be some accountability, some encouragement, some nudging, maybe some embarrassing moments but I've made up my mind to try this. I havent stuck to anything weight loss related for more than a few hours so believe me when I type this that this is really big for me.

Why I want to do it: in no particular order of importance:-

Mostly to feel good about myself.

To turn a few heads. For the right reasons!

Not to shave off any more years of my longevity if I can help it.

Once upon a time not so far off, I didnt see what the big deal in living long was for but now that I have kids, I want every possible joy a mother can experience from them to be mine.

And then some.

I want to able to get in a store and not automatically go for black or 'slimming clothes'. I just want to be able to buy whatever I fancy.

I want to develop a taste for good, healthy food. Soups, salads, smoothies, juices, just eat intelligently. More like what suits my system and give up food that doesnt look good on me akin to avoiding foods that give you allergies.

I want freedom from being fat related stress. It would be like being on a whole new planet for me.

I want to look good in a white shirt and blue jeans.

I want to able to be ready for a photograph without angling myself just right or sucking various body parts in.

I want to look good in case I'm caught in an accident (God forbid) and they're taking me to the hospital. I dont want whoever's helping me to berate me for my weight.

Also want my body to look good when I'm dead. Dont want the people bathing my dead body to be cussing me. Why would I care? I'm dead anyway?I dont know for sure....they say the soul feels whats going on. So I wouldnt want to feel ashamed!

As you can see I want to do this all for me. Firstly. Then there's my mom who says I was quite a good looking kid before I let myself go to pot. She says she wants to see back there again. At least close. Lol.

For my husband who despite everything, has always loved me like he cant see the fat.

For my kids - there's so much we have to do together!

How I'm going to do it:-
I don't know.
I'm going to make it up as I go along. Learn what needs to be done along the way.

Since the comp is always on I'd refer to it more than any book or diary, which I've tried in the past and been unsuccessful with. Half those times I never remembered where the book was.

I'm not going to post photos or initial weight. I'd rather not depress myself anymore than I already have while looking at this page. But I will let you know that to reach my goal wt, I need to lose about 50 pounds.

I will record my day's doings so that I know where I'm heading, where I've been.

If there is a science to this then my mission is to learn it and apply it to myself.